I just have one thing to say...
This DOES NOT apply to ALL women, but I did get a laugh out of it. ;)
-Leslie
> > Oil Changing Instructions for Women:
> >
> >
> > 1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the
> last oil
> > change.
> >
> > 2) Drink a cup of coffee.
> >
> > 3)15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
> maintained
> > vehicle.
> >
> > Money spent: $20.00 for oil change $1.00 for coffee
> > Total = $21.00
> >
> >
> > Oil Change instructions for Men:
> >
> >
> > 1) Go to O' Reillys auto parts and write a check
> > for $50.00 for oil, filter, kitty Litter, hand cleaner and a
> scented tree.
> >
> > 2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of
> taking it back
> > to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
> >
> > 3) Open a beer and drink it.
> >
> > 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
> >
> > 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
> >
> > 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
> >
> > 7) Place drain pan under engine.
> >
> > 8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
> >
> > 9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
> >
> > 10) Unscrew drain plug.
> >
> > 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in
> process.
> >
> > 12) Clean up mess.
> >
> > 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
> >
> > 14) Look for oil filter wrench.
> >
> > 15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
> >
> > 16) Beer.
> >
> > 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil
> change
> > tomorrow.
> >
> > 18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
> >
> > 19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
> >
> > 20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
> >
> > 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
> >
> > 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of
> oil to
> gasket
> > surface.
> >
> > 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> >
> > 24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
> >
> > 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> >
> > 26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back
> yard, along
> > with drain plug.
> >
> > 27) Drink beer.
> >
> > 28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
> >
> > 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
> >
> > 30) Drink beer.
> >
> > 31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on
> frame.
> >
> > 32) Bang head on floor boards in reaction to step 31.
> >
> > 33) Begin cussing fit.
> >
> > 34) Throw wrench.
> >
> > 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss
> December (1992)
> > in her overabundant chest.
> >
> > 35) Beer.
> >
> > 36) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop
> blood
> > flow.
> >
> > 37) Beer.
> >
> > 38) Beer.
> >
> > 39) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
> >
> > 40) Beer.
> >
> > 41) Lower car from jack stands.
> >
> > 42) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
> >
> > 43) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled
> during
> > step 23.
> >
> > 44) Beer.
> >
> > 45) Test drive car.
> >
> > 46) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
> >
> > 47) Car gets impounded.
> >
> > 48) Make bail: Get car from impound yard.
> >
> > Money spent: $50.00 parts
> > $25.00 beer
> > $75.00 replacement set of jack stands
> > $1,000.00 Bail
> > $200.00 Impound and towing fee
> > Total = $1350.00
> >
> >
> >
>
=====
Steve & Leslie Runde Bardstown, Kentucky '00 Dakota Quad Cab V6 SLT+ http://www.geocities.com/the_black_ghost_2000
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Fri Jun 20 2003 - 11:52:40 EDT