Fwd: Nitrous Essay

From: bernd@texas.net
Date: Thu Oct 05 2000 - 15:19:11 EDT


This is funny but true. (Got it from a buddy)

- Bernd

>
> The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Nitrous Oxide
>
> Everything you ever wanted to know about laughing gas but were afraid to
> ask.
>
> July 11, 2000
>
>
> Let’s get something straight. If you open the valve on the big blue bottle
> you bought to goose your ride and inhale from the hose, bad things will
> happen, sooner rather than later. Like asphyxiation. True, that stuff in the
> bottle is basically the same as the goofy juice your dentist feeds you
> before he starts yanking molars, but it is far more pure.
> Pure? Pure! What do you mean? N20 is bad news in a can, right? It’s a quick
> fix for junkies down on Benzedrine. So say those heads who tag their rides
> with stickers on their windows that read: "all throttle, no bottle." It’ll
> make your motor spew chunks under pressure. This is a possibility, but there
> is another school of thought. Bottle-heads believe in giggle juice as if it
> were holy writ. Talk about cheap speed? Do you know another way to can add
> 400 horse to your crusty old honker for $800? Some systems go even higher.
> How can you beat that. What is the scoop on The Magic Blue Bottle?
>
> Truth is, nitrous oxide is just another form of supercharging, a little
> cruder than turbos or Roots blowers, perhaps, but it knows how to make a
> statement. Sure, you can blow up your motor if you get a little too loose
> with the juice, but its like the Stan Lee says, with great power comes great
> responsibility. Still, nitrous oxide remains wildly misunderstood, even
> amongst many enthusiasts, which is why I thought it might be time for a
> quick lesson in the mysteries of nitrous oxide, AKA N2O, the only
> supercharger you can buy by the bottle.
>
> Do you believe that’s air your breathing? In its natural state, nitrous
> oxide is a gaseous oxygen-bearing nitrogen compound with natural anesthetic
> qualities. It’s colorless, odorless, and completely non-flammable. Nitrous
> made its way into play in the medical community in 1844 when a select few
> doctors came to the conclusion that a whiff of nitrous oxide kept patients
> still under the blade far more efficiently than a shot of whiskey and a
> bullet to bite on.
>
> Each nitrous oxide molecule consists of two nitrogen atoms for every oxygen
> atom, which is how it picked This is why, at some point along the line, a
> chemist hung it with the street handle N20. Do not confuse this with NWA,
> N.W.O, or NOW. This can only lead to suffering. Play it cool—play it
> supercool, and contained nitrous oxide gets all watery in the knees. The
> molecules clench and grope and cluster. Increased density turns the compound
> into a liquid. That’s why the big blue bottle makes that sloshing sound.
> Raise the thermostat just enough, however, those molecules unclump, and the
> gas begins to rise. The magic temperature is Five-Six-Five, Farenheight
> degrees, that is. That’s the point at which the atoms go there separate
> ways. If this parting of ways happens to occur in the intake manifold of an
> internal combustion engine, life gets a little more…interesting.
>
> Under pressure.
> Nitrous may not burn but it does catalyze combustion quite efficiently. When
> N2O decomposes under extreme heat, it releases a load of raw oxygen
> molecules 2.3 times the density per square-foot than that atmosphere we
> breathe. The intake manifold of an internal combustion engine provides more
> than enough heat to break nitrous down to its molecular pieces parts. This
> rich new flood of oxygen ups the air-fuel ratio, increases cylinder pressure
> and brings you ever closer to that automotive nirvana: Complete Combustion.
> Power shoots through the roof as your cranked out engine motor churns out
> new stallions like mares in heat. Your ride leaves two long streaks of extra
> crispy on the asphalt as you burn your merry way down David Lynch’s Lost
> Highway. Kyle McLaughlin is standing by.
>
> Power on demand and without apology?
> It doesn’t take a genius to understand the wide appeal of N20.
> Bang-for-buck, it’s still the king of schwing, no matter what you ride. For
> about $825, you can dial up those kings of voodoo juice at Nitrous Oxide
> Systems and pick up a two-stage Big Shot Cheater system for a V8 Chevy block
> that’ll gain you 200-400 horsepower over stock. Do you yearn to do smokey
> burnouts in your brand new Honda Accord? No problemo. How about a Dodge
> Neon? Or a Harley Softail? A bored and stroked snowmobile? Someone can cover
> you. Don’t worry if you’ve already got yourself a big turbo or an S-trim
> blower. Nitrous oxide plays well with other superchargers when properly
> tuned.
>
> One quick caveat: reemeber the old school boast that there’s no replacement
> for displacement? When you hook up to Big Blue, this rule definitely
> applies. Nitrous power increases more or less linearly based on engine
> displacement and volumetric efficiency. I just don't want you to be bummed
> when you're new Maximum Destruction Dual Stage Nitrous plate only pulls 50
> horse out of your VTEC and not 500. Watch for truth in advertising.
>
> The other big plus to breathing off the bottle is the fact that you only run
> the juice when the mood suits. Unlike other supernaturally aspirated
> engines, a juiced block remains docile as Dr. Jekyl until you punch dial in
> that nitrous solenoid. You save gas and reduce stress on the engine’s
> internals compared to full-time superchargers, unless you’re an idiot.
>
> Nitrous arrays come in a variety of different arrays, but they all do pretty
> much the same thing. Flick the switch of bunch the button and you activate a
> solenoid that feeds a steady spray of nitrous from a big bottle through
> pound bottle through a braided hose into your manifold, either at or below
> the intake manifold. Multiple stage systems are also available for those of
> you who want to have a little more control over how much juice they loose.
> Many EFI systems can be tuned via electronically to accommodate the ECM and
> modify the fuel and spark curve according to the volume of juice boost.
>
> So this giggle gas is pretty good stuff, eh? What’s with those nervous
> freaks who fear forced induction like an attack of genital warts? Well,
> truth be told, N20 leaves you with the rope to hang yourself and the power
> to make your driveline spew.
>
> With great horsepower comes great responsibility
> As a rule of thumb, figure that a stock block with limited wear on the
> internals can safely handle an extra third of its base horsepower via
> laughing gas if you don’t hit the bottle too frequently. That’s just a rule
> of thumb. Some can handle more, some less. The key is to know thine engine.
>
> If you’re a weekend racer who likes to get a little mischievous during the
> occasional stoplight sprint, nitrous oxide is your ticket to ride. If you’re
> an all-out speed freak with “Poor Impulse Control,” tattooed across your
> forehead, you’re in for some bad business. If you suck from the Super Straw
> every time you feel a twitch of road rage, you’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’.
>
> First of all, nitrous supply is finite. A 10-lb bottle of juice will run you
> through a lot of dental work, but it won’t last you long on the strip. Speed
> shops aren’t like Taco Bell. There are no free refills. But this is the
> least of your problems.
>
> You want mo’ power mo’ often? Dig deep, my friend. The stress from a serious
> nitrous system puts some heavy demands on both motor and transmission. If
> you run heavy juice, you’ll want to build your block up as if you were
> running spray all the time unless you want scrambled pistons to go with your
> bacon for breakfast. Forged internals, new cams, better flowing heads,
> hi-flow fuel pumps, new ignitions…it adds up. Also, a dedicated nitrous fuel
> system, which isn’t a bad idea anyway, becomes an absolutely necessary. Then
> there’s the computer tuning, which can be a particular hassle if you’ve got
> to deal with later OBD systems, which tend to flip out under heavy spray. So
> much for cheap speed.
>
> But don’t be blue. Moderate nitrous use is a like safe sex. You lose a
> little sensation but it sure as hell beats watching re-runs. And you get to
> live to brag about. Also, N20 still beats all comers when it comes to big,
> stupid fun. So if you’ve got a crusty beater you want to wring out to death,
> by all means, hump on the biggest bottle rocket you can afford and go till
> you blow. Stay safe. Sane is optional.
>
>
>



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