Re: Twas the night before Christmas

From: Doug Fedeli (rdf@eznet.net)
Date: Fri Dec 22 2000 - 12:44:32 EST


I think I have a new story to read to the kids.

Doug Fedeli

Walter Felix wrote:

> 'Twas the night before Christmas and out on the streets,
> Only Mopars were winning against Fords and "Heartbeats."
>
> The stop lights were hung over the streets with care,
> Getting ready to change for those drivers who dare.
>
> The children were nestled all snug in there beds,
> While visions of Hot Wheels danced in their heads.
>
> My wife was on the phone and I in the garage,
> Staring at my Miss Mopar collage.
>
> When out on the drive rolled up such a rumble,
> You knew for the owner it was hard to be humble.
>
> I recognized the sound but had to see for myself,
> I knew this was no blue oval elf.
>
> I was right, there it was, in it's plum crazy glow,
> A '71 426 'Cuda built for go.
>
> The black billboard split as the door opened wide,
> A large sack of parts was then tossed outside.
>
> A leg swung out with a tall black boot,
> Then there he stood in a red and white suit.
>
> It was Santa, St. Nick, in all of his glory,
> "But Santa, please tell me, just what is the story?"
>
> "Where is your sleigh, your eight tiny deer?"
> He said "I traded them in on 425 horses and a 4.10 gear!"
>
> "I test drove 'em all, every single musclecar,
> But none can beat 'Cheevies' like a Hemi Mopar!"
>
> "And son you've been good and learned all the tricks,
> So I'm swapping your small block for a 426!"
>
> Then he grabbed up his tools and went straight to the chore.
> The swap took one hour, no less and no more.
>
> This guy was good, but something wasn't right...
> Santa couldn't have learned to do that overnight.
>
> He torqued the last nut and then walked away,
> "With this," he said proudly, "you'll beat 'Cheevies' all day!"
>
> All at once it hit me, I recognized the voice,
> His skill with the tools, his words of choice.
>
> Once I figured it out, it was really no surprise,
> This was Big Daddy Don Garlits in a Santa disguise.
>
> He collected up his tools and went back to his ride,
> Put his stuff in the trunk and hopped back inside.
>
> With a whine of the starter, the beast came alive,
> And with a shift to reverse, he backed out of my drive.
>
> With pistol grip in hand he shifted into first,
> And the 'Cuda jumped forward with a quick but smooth burst.
>
> I could see he was happy about what he had done,
> He had turned my car into major Mopar fun.
>
> But he had to be going, he had much to do,
> Lots of Hemis to be swapped in hours too few.
>
> And I heard him exclaim as he snatched second gear...
> "Have a smooth running Christmas and a Mopar New Year"
> _________________________________________________________________
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