AAAAAWWWWWW,MAN,I`m losin` it!! You oughtta be in
syndication! Funniest crap I ever read,and yes,that`s
a compliment.
> >From: "Crit Bennett" <crit@engineer.com>
> >Reply-To: dakota-truck@BUFFNET.NET
> >To: <dakota-truck@BUFFNET.NET>
> >Subject: DML: In a Ricer's own words...
> >Date: Mon, 2 Apr 2001 23:51:20 -0400
> >
> >Well crap, I'm a repeat offender. At least this
> one has a shred of
> >on-topic
> >dignity. Here goes.
> >
> >I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One
> liter of raw power, 3
> >cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on
> thirteen-inch rims. It's stock,
> >alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the
> barely 2000 pounds of Metro
> >around with AUTHORITY. I'm always catching mopeds
> and 18-wheelers by
> >surprise.
> >
> >I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly
> triple-latte cappuccino
> >blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it BLACK"),
> then I stopped at a
> >streetlight. As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle
> around me, I sipped my
> >bold beverage and wiped the white froth from my
> stiff upper lip. I was
> >minding my own business, but then I heard a rev
> from the next lane. I
> >turned, made
> >eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the
> competition. Ford Festiva --a
> >late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires,
> curb feelers, and school
> >bus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure. The
> howl of his motor snapped
> >my
> >reverie, and I looked back into the driver's eyes,
> nodded, then blipped my
> >own throttle.
> >
> >As I tugged on my driving gloves and slipped on my
> sunglasses (gotta look
> >cool to be fast, and I am *damn*cool, hence...),
> the night was split with
> >the sound of seven screaming cylinders... Then the
> light turned... I almost
> >had him out of the hole, my three pounding
> cylinders thrusting me at least
> >a millimeter back into my seat, as smoke pouring
> from my front right
> >tire...
> >my unlimited slip differential was letting me down!
> I saw in the corner of
> >my eyes, a yellow snout gaining, and I heard the
> roar of his four
> >cylinders.
> >He slung by me, right front wheel juddering against
> the pavement, and he
> >flashed me a smile as his .7 extra liters of motor
> stretched its legs. I
> >kept my foot gamely in it, though, waiting for the
> CHECK ENGINE light to
> >blink on in the one-gauge (no tachometer here!)
> instrument panel. I saw a
> >glimpse of chrome under his bumper, and knew the
> ugly truth...He was
> >running
> >a custom exhaust -- probably a 2-into-1 dual
> exhaust... maybe even cutouts!
> >Damn his hot-rod soul! The old lady passing us on
> the electric powered
> >three-wheeler cast a dirty look in our boy-racer
> direction... Yet still I
> >persisted, with my three pumping pistons singing a
> heady high-pitched song,
> >wound fully out. Though only a few handfuls of
> seconds had passed, we were
> >nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the
> intersection, and heard the
> >note of his engine change as he made his shift to
> second, and I saw his
> >grin
> >in his rearview mirror fade as he missed the shift!
> >
> >I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the clutch
> gently in to keep from
> >bogging, keeping my motor spinning hot and pulling
> me ahead, now trailing a
> >cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not ready to give
> up so easily, he left his
> >foot in it, revving, and I heard one wheel *almost*
> chirp as he finally
> >found second and dropped the clutch. We careened
> over the crosswalk, now
> >going at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist
> passed us, but intent on the
> >race as we were, neither of us batted an eye. He
> pulled slowly abreast of
> >me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to third,
> the scream of motors
> >deafening all pedestrians within a five foot
> circle. He nosed ahead as we
> >passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front of me,
> taunting, as we shifted
> >into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6" chrome
> tips of his exhaust,
> >snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted a
> little to take the next
> >corner. I saw my opportunity, and counting on the
> innate agility of my
> >trusty steed, I pulled wide into the number two
> lane and kept my foot
> >buried
> >in carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my
> Metro roll slowly to the
> >left as I came abreast in the midst of this gradual
> sweeping turn. I felt
> >the Geo ease onto its suspension stops, and felt
> the right rear wheel
> >slowly
> >leave the ground - no matter, though, because my
> drive wheels, up front,
> >were pulling me through the corner, and around the
> Festiva .The Ford
> >driver
> >beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past
> him on the outside, my
> >P165/54R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to
> the next light. We
> >coasted
> >down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened
> my driving gloves, ready
> >for another round, when this WIMP in the next car
> meekly flipped his turn
> >signal and made a right. Chevy (Suzuki) superiority
> reigns!!! I drove off
> >sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer
> virility, looking for other
> >unwitting targets.... Perhaps a Yugo, or maybe even
> a Volkswagon Van!
>
>_________________________________________________________________
> >
>
>
> David Digney
> 00'QC,SLT+,3.9,42RE,3.55,K&N "Home-Brew" Intake
> Dynomax Super Turbo,Mobil 1 10w30,Mobil 1 Filter
> List Moderator: "DodgeDakotaQuadCab@egroups.com"
>
> Dodge Dakota Quad Cab: "ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES"
>
>
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=====
Steve Preston 1999 Dakota Sport 3.9V6,4x4,3.92 Anti-spin,42RE auto,Intense Blue,regular cab.
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