Why Did the Chicken cross the Road?
Coalition Provisional Authority: The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed
the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been
transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled June 30th
transition of power. From now on the chicken is responsible for its own
decisions.
Halliburton: We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the
inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation
will only cost the US government $326,004.
Muqtada al-Sadr: The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be
killed.
US Army Military Police: We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross
the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the
chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the
occurrence of any chicken rights violations.
Peshmerga: The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the
road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to
defend itself. However, in future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be
called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.
1st Cav: The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without
displaying two forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was
appropriately detained and searched in accordance with current SOP?s. We
apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this
unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity
training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by
female soldiers.
Al Jazeera: The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at
gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to
eye-witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet
another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.
Blackwater: We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing
incident.
Translators: Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation.
Future chicken table against my request.
U.S. Marine Corps: The chicken is dead.
Navy: The chicken upon crossing the road was painted and lashed to the curb.
Kerry: "The chicken crossed the road before it did not"
Baghdad Bob: The chicken never crossed the road! He is safe in Baghdad,
miles from the marauding vehicles of the infidel! THERE IS NO ROAD!
USAF: "As you can see here in the target video, the bomb was locked onto
the chicken...and there it goes...the chicken is still moving...still
moving...and unfortunately passed out of the parameters of the guidance
system so that the bomb completely missed it and hit the weasel instead.
Gotta admit thought, it's impressive footage..."
--
-Barry
"Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think"
-fortune cookie
DML:
http://www.twistedbits.net/WWWProfile/dakota/Rb@6EE4xQAF2k/
Superhawk:
http://barrysuperhawk.home.insightbb.com
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