Yeeeeeeeeehah!!!! Amen, Brett!!! You done nailed it!
Richard in San Antonio
On Sat, 11 Mar 2000 11:06:51 CST "Brett Forehand"
<brett4hand@hotmail.com> writes:
> For anyone coming to the Texas DML meet from out of state, I thought
> I'd
> pass on these helpful tips!
>
> 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed
> later how to use it.
>
> 2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean
> we can. We stay home the two days of the year it snows.
>
> 3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four
> men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer
> and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help
> them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live
> for.
>
> 4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the
> same store.
>
> 5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural.
> "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
>
> 6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
>
> 7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55
> mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many
> folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John
> Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for
> that vehicle.
>
> 8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!"
> Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will
> ever say.
>
> 9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the
> humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot?
> Wait'll August."
>
> 10. There are no delis. Don't ask.
>
> 11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder
> when making a point, especially in a bar.
>
> 12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
>
> 13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven
>
> 14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
>
> 15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool
> down-in December.
>
> 16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February,
> and Summer!
>
> 17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Dodge Dakota is.
>
> 18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't
> hot" you can be certain they are.
>
> 19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to
> have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.
>
> 20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.
>
> 21. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that
> doesn't mean anything's broken.
>
> 22. If you don't understand our passion for college and high
> school football just keep your mouth shut.
>
> 23. The value of a parking space is not determined by the
> distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
>
> 24. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road
> pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
>
> 25. BBQ is a food group.
>
> 26. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a
> popular weekend pastime.
>
> 27. "Tea" = Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
>
> 28. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
>
> ______________________________________________________
> I'm really looking forward to meeting everyone next weekend!
> Brett
> '94 Dak Sport CC
> ______________________________________________________
>
>
>
> ______________________________________________________
> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
>
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