For anyone coming to the Texas DML meet from out of state, I thought I'd
pass on these helpful tips!
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed
later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean
we can. We stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four
men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer
and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help
them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live
for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the
same store.
5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural.
"All y'all's" is plural possessive.
6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55
mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many
folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John
Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for
that vehicle.
8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!"
Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will
ever say.
9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the
humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot?
Wait'll August."
10. There are no delis. Don't ask.
11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder
when making a point, especially in a bar.
12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven
14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool
down-in December.
16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February,
and Summer!
17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Dodge Dakota is.
18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't
hot" you can be certain they are.
19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to
have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.
20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.
21. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that
doesn't mean anything's broken.
22. If you don't understand our passion for college and high
school football just keep your mouth shut.
23. The value of a parking space is not determined by the
distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
24. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road
pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
25. BBQ is a food group.
26. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a
popular weekend pastime.
27. "Tea" = Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
28. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
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I'm really looking forward to meeting everyone next weekend!
Brett
'94 Dak Sport CC
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