You forgot:
You got married at a race event on the S/F line.
----- Original Message -----
From: "The Man From Utopia" <tmfu@home.com>
To: "DML (E-mail)" <dakota-truck@buffnet.net>
Sent: Saturday, November 18, 2000 1:25 PM
Subject: DML: You might be a racer if....
>
>
> You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
>
> You've been known to yell "It means 'check
> your mirrors' dammit!" at your television.
>
> You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
>
> You bought a race car before buying a house.
>
> You bought a race car before buying
> furniture for the new house.
>
> You buy new parts because you don't know
> where you put the spares.
>
> You're looking for a tow vehicle and still
> haven't bought furniture!
>
> You find that you need a new house because
> you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence
> if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
>
> The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of
> importance):
> 1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
> 2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motorhome, a
> crew cab dualie, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
> 3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
> 4) A grease pit.
> 5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
> 6) Deaf neighbors.
> 7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
> 8) Some sort of house with a working toilet
> and shower on the property somewhere
> -or-
> hookups for the motorhome.
>
> You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of
> race tires that could have been purchased.
>
> You know well that Orthodontic work is the equivalant of three
> sets of tires
>
> You hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead of
> "John's Grill".
>
> You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and
> shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get
> back from the machine shop.
>
> You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
>
> Your wife says, "If you buy another set of tires, I'm getting a
> new mink."
>
> Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
>
> You have enough spare parts to build another car
>
> More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets
> you by name when you call
>
> You have car parts in your cubicle at work
>
> The guys at the local tire store laugh when you come in
>
> You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Drivers,
> start your engines!"
>
> You can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on
> weekends."
>
> You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.
>
> Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG R1’s and
> Crower rods (and your 'significant other' knows what these are).
>
> After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next
> question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
>
> You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
>
> Your reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and
> racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every
book
> Caroll Smith
> has ever written.... and 400 car magazines, none of which have
centerfolds.
>
> People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.
>
> People know you by your "off"s.
> "Oh, you are the one stuck in the mud at Lime Rock last weekend!"
>
> You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the
> manufacturer’s name
>
> Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
>
> Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto
> repair skills. Air tools optional.
>
> Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.
>
> Your family remembers your hair color as "grease".
>
> You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
>
> You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker
> bar every other week or so.
>
> You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been
> in, but can't remember your phone number.
>
> Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend
> some time with you.
>
> You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't
> stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
>
> A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query,
> "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
>
> You give out Summit Racing's number when a friend asks for the
> best hardware store.
>
> You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
>
> You look at the fire hydrant at that corner and see an apex marker.
>
> You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
>
> You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars
> coming out.
>
> Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn
>
> You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your
> passenger gives you a real funny look.
>
>
> Greg
> 2K1 Neon ES
> Rahway NJ
> ICQ: 283886
> http://24.6.89.18/neon
>
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