You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
You've been known to yell "It means 'check
your mirrors' dammit!" at your television.
You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
You bought a race car before buying a house.
You bought a race car before buying
furniture for the new house.
You buy new parts because you don't know
where you put the spares.
You're looking for a tow vehicle and still
haven't bought furniture!
You find that you need a new house because
you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence
if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of
importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motorhome, a
crew cab dualie, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
6) Deaf neighbors.
7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
8) Some sort of house with a working toilet
and shower on the property somewhere
-or-
hookups for the motorhome.
You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of
race tires that could have been purchased.
You know well that Orthodontic work is the equivalant of three
sets of tires
You hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead of
"John's Grill".
You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and
shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get
back from the machine shop.
You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
Your wife says, "If you buy another set of tires, I'm getting a
new mink."
Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
You have enough spare parts to build another car
More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets
you by name when you call
You have car parts in your cubicle at work
The guys at the local tire store laugh when you come in
You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Drivers,
start your engines!"
You can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on
weekends."
You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.
Your Christmas list begins with another set of BFG R1’s and
Crower rods (and your 'significant other' knows what these are).
After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next
question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
Your reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and
racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every book
Caroll Smith
has ever written.... and 400 car magazines, none of which have centerfolds.
People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.
People know you by your "off"s.
"Oh, you are the one stuck in the mud at Lime Rock last weekend!"
You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the
manufacturer’s name
Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto
repair skills. Air tools optional.
Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.
Your family remembers your hair color as "grease".
You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker
bar every other week or so.
You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been
in, but can't remember your phone number.
Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend
some time with you.
You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't
stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query,
"Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
You give out Summit Racing's number when a friend asks for the
best hardware store.
You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
You look at the fire hydrant at that corner and see an apex marker.
You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars
coming out.
Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn
You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your
passenger gives you a real funny look.
Greg
2K1 Neon ES
Rahway NJ
ICQ: 283886
http://24.6.89.18/neon
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