Re: Crunch Berries problem. PLEASE HELP!!

From: W. Jack Hilton III (HEMI@charter.net)
Date: Sun Nov 19 2000 - 10:24:52 EST


Steve -

First off, your problem is the Crunch Berries themselves. I personally
favor the Cap'N Crunch Peanut Butter cereal, which affords me the luxury of
not worrying about different colored 'berries' as they are all the same.
The only problem I have wit them is that if you get too many in your mouth
at once, they rub the roof of your mouth raw. My solution is to let the
Cap'N Crunch sit in the milk for about 15 minutes, which gives 'The
Soggies' time to get settled, and thus allows me to force as many pieces
into my mouth as possible, without fear of causing undoe harm to the roof
of my mouth.
Now here's what you do about the split bag:
1) Remove the Windshield Washer Bottle from your Dak.
2) Empty contents of said bottle.
3)Sniff bottle to check and see if it's safe to eat from.
4)If it is not safe to eat from, wipe it out with a shop rag (preferably
clean) and then continue. If it is safe to eat from, skip this step and go
on to step # 5.
5) Using your new Magnum Performance $5k throttle body with "secret
ingredients", funnel the berries into the washer bottle. If you notice any
oil residue on the TB before you start, ignore it, it will help your
digestive tract.Make sure to get the berries floating around in the box as
well.WASTE NOT, WANT NOT!
6) With the bottle now full of berries, use the same TB to pour the correct
amount of milk in the bottle. Usually i would say almost a gallon, but with
the berries in the bottle, probably closer to half of a gallon.
7) Close the lid on the bottle and shake vigorously for 30 seconds.
8) Allow the concoction to sit for about 15 minutes.
9) Open the lid, pour in bowl, and enjoy!
10) Place lid back on bottle and store mixture either in fridge or back in
vehicle. If installing back in Dak, remember not to hit the Washer button
as the effects of Crunch Berry Saturated Milk have not been evaluated at
this time.

Also, let me know how the Co-Pilot install comes, and if they are just
blow-up, or "Real Co-Pilots" with lifelike orrifices.

I hope this helps you out, Steve.

BTW - For those of you about to bitch about this having no Dak content,
take a pill and waste your breathe on something useful.

At 11:37 AM 11/18/00 -0500, you wrote:
>I`m not having a good couple of days,here. I just tried to peel open the
>top of the bag inside my brand new box of Crunch Berries (tm),and SPLIT
>the bag clear down to the bottom of the box!! Now I`ve got renegade
>berries falling haphazardly down the side of the bag,into the box! Has
>anyone had this problem before? Also,when did they start utilizing the
>blue and purple berries? TIA. Steve P........WAIT! DAK
>content......have an appointment on the 27th for them to connect the
>co-pilot to my Dak! We`ll see what that does.
>
>99 Dakota Sport Intense Blue RC 4X4 V6 42RE 3.92 Anti-Spin w/Infinity CD
>system and optional hand-crank windows (2) 3923 Autolite spark plugs
>Big Blue Ram sticker in the slider window that intimidates people into
>establishing a safe following distance

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Jack Hilton III

www.CyberMopar.com

www.HellaUSA.com

www.DakotaRT.com

www.Dakota-Truck.com

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