Way to go Miles! ROFL! Great post man! And at least you gave it the old
college try with the Vette... LOL I salute you Sir!!! <salute>
Miles Harris wrote:
> I've read with great interest the assorted spanking stories that have
> appeared on this list since I've joined. Being somewhat out of the racing
> loop for a number of years, I thought that spanking was something my wife
> did to me…. ahh….., I digress.
>
> Anyway, I thought I would like to do some spanking. I wanted to feel the
> "thrill of victory" while my opponent felt "the agony of defeat". Of course
> having a truck with the stock 2.5L four banger, that some of you have
> called anemic, while others have questioned why anyone would buy a 4
> cylinder truck, it would be difficult for me to spank anyone., however, I
> figured if I choose my opponents wisely I too could feel the thrill of the
> race, the joy of victory and regain some of my manhood (as much as possible
> considering I've been married almost 30 years).
>
> Regarding the performance of the 2.5. Some of you have been writing about
> trying to break into the 13's. Well my 2.5 has…..... 0-60 in 13 seconds.
> Yes I know it is not a quarter mile, but 13 seconds is 13 seconds. For my
> ego (and this yarn), the hell with the technical details or facts.
>
> With the idea of choosing my opponents so as to insure a victory, me and my
> 13 second Dak ventured out. I first pulled up to a rice-eater *. I gunned
> my truck and nodded at him and he nodded back. The light turned green and I
> popped the clutch. My truck took off across the intersection making it to
> the other side before the rice-eater got both feet off the curb. I was
> feeling good and ready for my next challenge, a couple of punk surfer
> types. Again I gave a nod as I gunned the engine. They returned my
> challenge with a one finger salute. Once again the light changed and I took
> off. Those punks on their skateboards were no match for 120 hp truck. I
> spanked them real good. Next came the biker, a tougher race with the same
> results. He got a good rolling start and had a length on me before I roared
> (as much as a stock exhaust on a 4 cylinder can roar) past him on his 10
> speed.
>
> By this time I was feeling pretty cocky. Three races, three spankings.
> Maybe I was feeling to confident, because I forgot about taking the little
> steps and took one giant step. You could say I flew to close to the sun. I
> pulled up alongside a 1958 Corvette. You know the one laden with a little
> to much chrome (to much chrome, a phrase not used in the 50's). The top was
> down (80 degree southern Cal winter day) and I could see the driver, a
> older gray hair man wearing a beret, and his trophy wife/girlfriend with a
> short skirt, and a tight low-cut top hugging a large set of perfect
> silicone breast (this is California, the silicone breast implant capital of
> the world). Maybe the view had clouded my thinking, but after a long few
> moments, I looked at the driver and gunned my Silver Dak. For some reason
> he was already glaring at me. I smiled back, nodded and gunned the engine
> again. He looked at my truck and started to smile. I gunned the motor
> again. Now he started laugh. At that moment the light turned green and I
> took off. You may not believe this (or this whole story for that matter),
> but I actually beat the Vette off the line and across the intersection.
> The guy was laughing so hard at my challenge that he wasn't paying
> attention to the light. When he did regain his composure he stomped down on
> his throttle and, to put it in an expression from my era, he blew my doors
> off.
>
> With that dose of reality, my spanking days (brief as they were) are over.
>
> I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year.
>
> And stepping up onto my soap box. If you drink don't drive and if you
> street race (the real kind), please suspend your activities for the night.
> While you may be sober, the guy you are racing may not be, and the guy
> approaching the next cross intersection, showing a green light for you, may
> be so drunk that all the lights look green to him. Speaking for myself, I
> want to see everyone and their Daks come into the real new millennium
> unscathed. I'm now stepping off my soapbox.
>
> Miles Harris III
> Simi Valley, CA
> 01 Silver Sport CC, with a can't get out of its own way 2.5L (but gets
> 21+mpg) 5speed
> 01 Gold Saturn SC1 (3 door coupe) 1.9L SOC, 4speed auto
>
> *The term rice-eater is not meant as a slander toward any nationality or
> ethic group. I had just seen the guy in Panda Express and he was eating a
> bowl of rice.
>
--"Its no joke Tuco, its a rope..."
Tom http://members.aol.com/silvereightynine Site Updated - on 12/7/00 1989,V6,Auto,8 footer,4x2
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