It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping they did when
they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let
me relate how I handle the situation.
When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became
necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job both for extra income and for
health insurance benefits that we need. She was a trained lab tech when we
met thirty some years ago and was fortunate to land a job at the local
medical center as a Phlebotomist.
It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that
she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from fishing or
hunting
about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how
hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or
so
before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this happens.
Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as
young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally does
get supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is
now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper.
I
do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't
cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help
her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy used
to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired. Now
that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Sometimes
she
says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big
issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I
am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed
to wear to the Monday's lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker
club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will
tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her
a little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing
the dog, vacuuming, or dusting.
Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and
scale the fish at a more leisurely pace. Nancy is starting to complain a
little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to
notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time
to pay
the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I
continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her
any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods than
she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had to take a
break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just age talking. In
fact, I try to not embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest
breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly
squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she
is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her
break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from. I know
that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily
basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is
easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No
one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get
older.
My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make the effort.
I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I
have attained is out of reach for the average man. However guys, even if you
just yell at your wife a little less often because of this article, I will
consider that writing it was worthwhile.
(This was written by the deceased husband of a friend of mine! He
mysteriously passed on shortly after writing this. The cause of death is
still under investigation).
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