"Michael Maskalans" <dml@tepidcola.com> wrote in message
>
> must've been one holy hell of a curb. I know you're short, but the
> bumper's still not *that* low....
> you're looking for black, not chrome, right?
> --
> Mike Maskalans <http://mike.tepidcola.com/dodge/>
The above assumption is entirely true. Your deductive powers amaze. Here's
my version of the story: (this may differ slightly from the parking curb's
version but I don't care. I beat that SOB with a 20 pound sledge, then
loaded it into the bed of my truck and dumped it into the Cal-Sag. It ain't
talkin to anyone ever again.)
One nice sunday evening, Sara and I decide to to see the ladykillers at the
Lowe's Theater in Woodridge, IL. I pull into a parking spot away from all
other vehicles and go into the theater. When we come out, we get into the
truck and back away. I encountered a little resistance and figure that
there must have been an imperfection in the pavement, so I give it some gas.
(we'd been mixing our own drinks in the theater, so i was only firing on 5
of my 6 cylinders, but was nowhere near being drunk, so don't even start
THAT.) After giving it some gas, i hear this horrendous "SCREACH, CRACK,
RIP, TINNNNNGGGG" noise (it sounded just like that - really). I put it in
park and get out.
The left side of the bumper was bent so that the front no longer sloped
back, it was perpendicular to the ground, and the right side had ripped the
first 4 bolts holding the valence to the bumper through the plastic. Of
course, since the plastic ripped, the left side of the bumper is bent more
than the right, thus torquing the whole thing. I'll take pics and put them
up on my site if you're all interested. i've since adjusted it back a
little bit with some vicegrips and a piece of 2x4, so it's a little better.
And that kids, is the story of Josh's bumper and the parking curb of doom.
Now, with all that said, if anyone (local is a definate plus) has a BLACK
metal bumper that's straight and in good shape, I'd be willing to buy it if
the price is right. Gary Hedlin has informed me that a shop local to him
can get me one for $100, and since I'm pretty local to him (25 minute ride)
I'd be content just doing that if I can't get one from the DML for less.
I've already got to buy the EIGHT freaking brackets that hold the thing in
place (trust me, they're all bent pretty good) for about $220, so I'd like
to kinda save a little cash on the metal bumper, you know? I'm going to
leave the valence for a while and eventually pick up a brand new one with
the foglight holes this time when I can save up a little cash. Untill then,
I'll be using some epoxy to glue oversized washers to the plastic valence to
secure it to the new-to-me bumper.
There, you have the whole sad story.
-- - Josh Lowered 2000 Dakota CC 3.9L www.geocities.com/lenny187/dakota.html www.omg-stfu.com
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