A Visit From St. Nick
By Sandy Reda
'Twas the night before Christmas and out on the streets,
Only Mopars were winning against Fords and "Heartbeats."
The stoplights were hung over the streets with care,
Getting read to change for those drivers who dare.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of Hot Wheels danced in their heads.
My wife was on the phone and I in the garage
staring at my Miss Mopar collage,
When out on the drive rolled up such a rumble,
You knew for the owner it was hard to be humble.
I recognized the sound but had to see for myself.
I knew this was no blue oval elf.
I was right, there it was in it's plum crazy glow,
A '71 426 'Cuda built for go.
The black billboard split as the door opened wide,
A large sack of parts was first tossed outside.
A leg swung out with a tall black boot,
Then there he stood in a red and white suit.
It was Santa, St. Nick, in all of his glory.
"But Santa, please tell me, just what is the story?"
"Where is your sleigh, your eight tiny deer?"
He said, "I traded them in on 425 horses and a 3.91 gear!"
"I test drove 'em all, every single muscle car,
But none can beat 'Cheevies' like a Hemi Mopar."
"And son you've been good and learned all the tricks."
"So I'm swapping your small block for a 426!"
So he grabbed up his tools and went straight to the chore,
The swap took him one hour, no less and no more.
This guy was good but something wasn't right.
Santa couldn't have learned to do that overnight.
He torqued the last nut and then walked away.
"With this," he said proudly, "you'll beat 'Cheevies' all day."
All at once it hit me, I recognized the voice.
His skill with the tools, his words of choice.
Once I figured it out, it was really no surprise.
This was Larry Shepard in a Santa disguise.
He collected up his tools and went back to his ride,
Put his stuff in the trunk and hopped back inside.
With a whine of the starter the beast came alive,
And with a shift to reverse he backed out of my drive.
With pistol grip in hand he shifted into first,
And the 'Cuda jumped forward with a quick but smooth burst.
I could see he was happy about what he had done,
He had turned my car into major Mopar fun.
But he had to be going, he had much to do,
Lots of Hemis to be swapped in hours to few
And I herd him exclaim as he snatched 2nd gear...
"Have a smooth running Christmas and a Mopar New Year."
P.S. I test drove my car down the street and back again.
It took just two minutes where it used to take te
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