See? Lawers aren't bad all the time? Almost makes me want to study up on
law:)
Mike S.(orry to waste electrons on non-dml stuff)
>> > USEFUL LAW DEGREE
>> >
>> > True Story - I always wanted a hopped up muscle car when I was
>> > younger. I
>> > couldn't afford one. Now I can, and I have one. It's a '70
>> > Mustang,and
>> > her name is Bessie. Bessie is the proto-typical juvenile,
>> > male-caveman,
>> > scratch yourself and drink cheap beer car. Chromed engine, dual
>> > exhaust,
>> > 250 horsepower, big tires. I'm driving Bessie on Beach Boulevard
>> > behind
>> > an ancient guy in a beat up truck. He decides to turn in front of me
>> > without a blinker. I accelerate to swerve and avoid him, and this
>> > crazy,
>> > over-aerobicized woman jumps in front of my car with her hand up.
>> >
>> > Meet Ethel, the neighborhood busybody/nuisance. She proceeds to yell
>> > in
>> > my window, "Hey, slow down you idiot." I'm a well-bred, mellow guy by
>> >
>> > nature, so I ignore this. As I drive away, she yells, "Jerk" at me
>> > again. Twice?
>> >
>> > I turn around and drive up next to her. "Do you have a problem?" I
>> > ask.
>> >
>> > "Yeah, why are you driving like an idiot?"
>> >
>> > "I was driving like an idiot? How, exactly?"
>> >
>> > "You were speeding. I watched you."
>> >
>> > "You were? I see. How did you measure my speed?" (Ever the
>> > interrogator)
>> >
>> > "I heard you."
>> >
>> > "So, you measured my speed by ear?" (Ed. note: The Doppler Effect
>> > could
>> > be applicable here)
>> >
>> > "I can hear."
>> >
>> > "How fast did you HEAR me going?"
>> >
>> > "Look," she says, "I don't have to take this. Here comes a cop. I'll
>> > wave him down."
>> >
>> > THE POLICE? This woman is a trip. She waves him down, and proceeds
>> > to
>> > tell him that she observed me speeding. "What happened?" he asks. I
>> > told
>> > him the story, and told him that I accelerated to an indicated 33 mph
>> > (the speed limit is 35) to avoid a collision.
>> >
>> > "Are those mufflers legal?" Ethel asks.
>> >
>> > She's pushing it. I reply, "I have a C.A.R.B. exemption for them."
>> > I give the paperwork to the cop. She tries to find another thing to
>> > screw me with.
>> >
>> > She says, "What about those big tires? They CAN'T be legal." I began
>> >
>> > feeling little overheated gears in the back of my head start to turn.
>> >
>> > "These tires were available on the 1970 Boss 429," I told the cop,
>> > "Which makes them street legal as a replacement."
>> >
>> > Ethel gets angry. She whines, "So you're not going to give out any
>> > tickets to this jerk?"
>> >
>> > The cop says, "No, I am not." I've about had it. So I say, "Sir, this
>> >
>> > woman told you that she left the street at the corner, and then she
>> > met
>> > up with my car here. According to Title 39, pedestrians have to cross
>> > the
>> > street at a right angle. This woman admitted she crossed at a
>> > 45-degree
>> > angle, which is a ticketable offense."
>> >
>> > "What?" The cop looks confused.
>> >
>> > "Also, she told you that she walked in front of my car to stop me. A
>> > citizen can't detain someone without probable cause, under Terry v.
>> > Ohio
>> > (my new favorite case). Since she couldn't measure my speed, she had
>> > no
>> > probable cause to detain me. That is anindictable offense."
>> >
>> > The cop says, "But, I didn't see any of this."
>> >
>> > "But," I said, "I did, and, as an officer of the Court, I can demand
>> > her
>> > arrest. I'll agree to dismiss the Illegal Detention charge, but I
>> > want
>> > her cited for not crossing at a right angle and Hazardous Conduct on a
>> >
>> > Public Street."
>> >
>> > The cop called his Lieutenant, and after the cop told the story, he
>> > authorized the summonses. She went home with $215.00 worth of traffic
>> >
>> > tickets, and they are worth a total of four points against her
>> > license,
>> > as well as the appropriate insurance surcharge! Of course, if she
>> > demands a trial I won't prosecute. But the look on her face as she
>> > walked away was more than enough satisfaction for me. Yeah, I've got a
>> >
>> > law degree, and I'm not afraid to use it.
>> >
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