From: Tim Roller>magnum318@bewellnet.com
Thanks--that's the best spanking story yet--I'm still laughing
-----Original Message-----
From: Wisotzkey, Rich <Rich.Wisotzkey@gsc.gte.com>
To: 'dakota-truck@buffnet.net' <dakota-truck@buffnet.net>
Date: Tuesday, October 20, 1998 10:55 AM
Subject: DML: RE: extremely funny joke, but long
>Norah,
>Awesome story. Thanks!
>Rich - Ashburn, VA
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Jason & Norah [mailto:janor@ican.net]
>Sent: Tuesday, October 20, 1998 11:30 AM
>To: dakota-truck@buffnet.net
>Subject: DML: extremely funny joke, but long
>
>
>Hi Everyone,
>
>I just got this from Jason dad yesterday and I thought I should pass it on.
>It's quite good.
>
>Enjoy!
>
>For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when
>you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day
>out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!
>
>Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone
>call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered
>nicely saying, "Hello?"
>I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to
>Robin Carter?"
>Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that
>anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and
>called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
>After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying
>there on my desk. I decided to call it again.
>When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!"
>and hung up.
>Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my
>desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had
>a really bad day, I'd call him up.
>He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer
>me up.
>Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a
>real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass.
>Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his
>voice, "Hello."
>I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone
>company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our
>caller ID program?"
>He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back
>and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
>The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how
>if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something
>about it. Just dial 823-4863.
>[Keep reading, it gets better.!]
>
>The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the
>parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally,
>her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the
>slot.
>I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
>Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black
>Camaro come flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and
>pulls into her space.
>I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy.
>I was here first!"
>The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked
>toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
>I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of
>jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the
>back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for
>another place to park.
>A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just
>gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're
>a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number
>on speed dial.)
>I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on
>my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple
>rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this
>the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
>"Yes, it is."
>"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the
>car's parked right out front."
>I said, "What's your name?"
>"My name is Don Hansen."
>"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>"I'm home in the evenings."
>"Listen Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes,"
>"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down. After I hung
>up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed
>dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when
>I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several
>months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just
>wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
>I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
>
>First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely
>saying,"Hello."
>
>I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up. The jackass said,
>"Are you still there?"
>I said, "Yeah."
>He said, "Stop calling me."
>I said, "No."
>He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
>I said, "Don Hansen."
>He said "Where do you live?"
>"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's
>parked out front."
>"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your
>prayers."
>"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up. Then I called
>Jackass #2.
>He answered, "Hello."
>I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
>He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?"
>"I'll kick your butt."
>"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" And
>I hung up.
>Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was
>at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as
>soon as he got home.
>Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W.
>34th Street.
>After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to
>watch the whole thing.
>Glorious!
>Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of
>6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest
>experiences of my life!
>Name withheld to protect the guilty.
>
>
>Norah
>
>LIFE: an invariably fatal condition transmitted by
> sexual contact.
>
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