Here is a list someone emailed to me awhile ago:
Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars.
Acura NSX - I am impotent.
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires.
Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states.
Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp.
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating up people.
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I
have a 'Vette.
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis.
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather.
Chrysler Minivan - My DNA has been put to good use.
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for
Eisenhower.
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.
Ford Escort - I like to drive something lower mammals wouldn't use for a
nest.
Ford Explorer - I think 4 wheel drive is a fashion accessory.
Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart).
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones.
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change
lanes when I pull up behind them.
Ford Taurus - I like listening to metal rust.
Ford Thunderbird - I should have bought a Mercury Cougar.
Ford Trucks - I would drink testosterone like orange juice if I could.
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all.
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit.
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop
280 days per year.
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.
Mercury Cougar - I should have bought a Ford Thunderbird.
Mercury Grand Marquis - See Lincoln Town Car.
Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.
MGB - I am dating a mechanic.
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either.
Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts.
Oldsmobile Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List and I'm
weird.
Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock.
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me.
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too
liberal.
Saab 900 - I am obscure enough to actually be cool.
Saab 9000 - (See Mercedes 560SEL).
Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic).
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior
than Isuzu.
Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet.
Toyota Trucks - My VW bus finally died.
Volkswagen Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns.
Volkswagen Cabriolet - I am out of the closet.
Volkswagen Microbus - I am tripping right now.
Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Fri Jun 20 2003 - 12:11:55 EDT