I cut and pasted this, and sent it to my brother in CT, who happens to own
a full size piece of Chevy. He didn't find it very amusing. ;-)
Brian
At 09:53 AM 6/27/02 -0400, you wrote:
>Dear Steve P.,
>
>There is no problem with your Dakota. This excerpt was taken from the latest
>"Medical Journal", it may help you with your problem:
>
>You have a common medical problem known as "lackus-testiclus." It is common
>among Ford and Chevy owners, and also those who drive any car with less than
>180HP. I manifests itself in males as a change in voice to a higher pitch,
>like a female. Next, from obvious lack of use, the testicles shrivel to a
>point where they are about the size of a couple of peas. At that point there
>is not enough testosterone to maintain being a male. I'm sure if you were to
>drive my Dakota, you would piss your self as soon as you fired up the engine
>and the exhaust makes you cry. :-(
>
>There is hope for you yet, keep driving your Dakota with as much tire smoke
>as possible, eventually your testicles will start to regrow. Then, start
>adding mods (to the Dakota) to increase their size. :-)
>
>The flip side of the coin is common among GenII, 360-powered Dakota owners,
>"testicus-elephantitis." This is where the proximity of all that horsepower
>causes the testicles to grow to a point where a small gym bag is needed to
>carry them. This is where every stop light is a test of your reaction time,
>and an opportunity to prove the size of your manhood. The trick is to do
>this and still be able to keep your drivers license, as eventually you will
>be sitting next to a cop at a light. Its your call at that point, you can
>race him if you think you can outrun a Motorola, or you can stand down and
>allow your testicles to shrink slightly, but then you can stay driving until
>the next race. Good luck with your problem Steve.
>
>;-o
>
>Thanks,
>Dr. Mark Kuzia
>flyboy01@comcast.net
>http://mywebpages.comcast.net/flyboy01/95daksale
>
> >Guys,I need to do something with this truck. It has
> >way too much take-off,midrange,and top-end power! A
> >little bit ago,I was stopped at a light beside one of
> >those "leading-brand" pickups,and he kinda revved it
> >up a little,like he thought he was gonna get the,how
> >you say,"smack-down" on me? But when the light turned
> >green,I simply depressed the accelerator pedal
> >modestly,and all of a sudden,there was no one around
> >me anymore! It kinda freaked me out,and I started to
> >wonder if he had ever really been there in the first
> >place! So it`s obvious that these 4.7`s have too much
> >horsepower from the factory,or something. I`m
> >embarassed for these people! Is there something I
> >could maybe dip the throttle body in to make it a
> >little more restrictive,or some kind of box I could
> >plug in to screw up my timing at the flip of a switch?
> >(Truck`s too powerful). Thanks! P.S. I am SURE that
> >others on the list here have many of the same
> >concerns! Heh heh.
>
>Steve P.
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