Dear Steve P.,
There is no problem with your Dakota. This excerpt was taken from the latest
"Medical Journal", it may help you with your problem:
You have a common medical problem known as "lackus-testiclus." It is common
among Ford and Chevy owners, and also those who drive any car with less than
180HP. I manifests itself in males as a change in voice to a higher pitch,
like a female. Next, from obvious lack of use, the testicles shrivel to a
point where they are about the size of a couple of peas. At that point there
is not enough testosterone to maintain being a male. I'm sure if you were to
drive my Dakota, you would piss your self as soon as you fired up the engine
and the exhaust makes you cry. :-(
There is hope for you yet, keep driving your Dakota with as much tire smoke
as possible, eventually your testicles will start to regrow. Then, start
adding mods (to the Dakota) to increase their size. :-)
The flip side of the coin is common among GenII, 360-powered Dakota owners,
"testicus-elephantitis." This is where the proximity of all that horsepower
causes the testicles to grow to a point where a small gym bag is needed to
carry them. This is where every stop light is a test of your reaction time,
and an opportunity to prove the size of your manhood. The trick is to do
this and still be able to keep your drivers license, as eventually you will
be sitting next to a cop at a light. Its your call at that point, you can
race him if you think you can outrun a Motorola, or you can stand down and
allow your testicles to shrink slightly, but then you can stay driving until
the next race. Good luck with your problem Steve.
;-o
Thanks,
Dr. Mark Kuzia
flyboy01@comcast.net
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/flyboy01/95daksale
>Guys,I need to do something with this truck. It has
>way too much take-off,midrange,and top-end power! A
>little bit ago,I was stopped at a light beside one of
>those "leading-brand" pickups,and he kinda revved it
>up a little,like he thought he was gonna get the,how
>you say,"smack-down" on me? But when the light turned
>green,I simply depressed the accelerator pedal
>modestly,and all of a sudden,there was no one around
>me anymore! It kinda freaked me out,and I started to
>wonder if he had ever really been there in the first
>place! So it`s obvious that these 4.7`s have too much
>horsepower from the factory,or something. I`m
>embarassed for these people! Is there something I
>could maybe dip the throttle body in to make it a
>little more restrictive,or some kind of box I could
>plug in to screw up my timing at the flip of a switch?
>(Truck`s too powerful). Thanks! P.S. I am SURE that
>others on the list here have many of the same
>concerns! Heh heh.
Steve P.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Fri Jun 20 2003 - 12:04:51 EDT