RE: 1999 Beauty Contest

From: Gregory Slay (gslay@bellsouth.net)
Date: Fri Jan 22 1999 - 20:40:18 EST


As an auto mechanic, I get to see, drive, fix, AND nit-pick every vehicle
that comes in the shop. And believe me, I work on them ALL!! Actually, I
have to completely agree with your list and, though I might be a bit
prejudiced in the "beauty" department, I can be VERY UN-Biased when I say
Dakota's have THE lowest "shop" time of any motor vehicle...PERIOD! Fact
is, I NEVER see one in the shop. (Unless I'm doing an oil change on mine)
I've worked on about five since they started producing them way back when!!
That's why I bought mine...
And, (if this doesn't make this message too long) Has anyone seen the engine
compartment of these new Ferds?? Take the time to look at the 5.4 Triton
(the 4.6, too) and when you do try to find the spark plugs!!!They're
BURIED!! The book time says 2.0 hours to change them! What the f^%*!!

(I need a new line of work)

Greg Slay
99 CC V6 Auto Bright White
Kennesaw, Ga

---Original Message-----
From: Steve F. [mailto:sferrari@concentric.net]
Sent: Friday, January 22, 1999 11:16 AM
To: Dakota Mailing List
Subject: DML: 1999 Beauty Contest

It's that time of year again; all the new trucks are out.
When shopping around for a new truck don't you ask yourself what
kind of image you want to convey? Will I be king of the strip with this?
Will I be a macho man in that? Will I be a geek?
The voting is done. The results are in.
The following is a summary of the final analysis with expert commentary
from the judges.

1. Dodge Dakota - perfect balance of size and power; best in class
without
   any unnecessary foo-foo included. Makes both a good street rod and
   an excellent 4x4. R/T is awesome. Best all around truck.

2. Actually there is a tie for second depending on what you want to do
   with your new truck:
   2a. Dodge Ram - best 4x4. Thick neck Gunter on steroids type of
styling.
       Take one geek, add one 2500 ext. cab 4x4 with the Cummins, and
       you have instant Hulk Hogan with a 10" phallus.
   2b. Ford F-150 - curvaceous lines that make the hottest looking
street
       rod. However, those same sexy lines make the 4x4 version look
       like a Dennis Rodman cross-dressing freak.

3. Chevy S-10/GMC Sonoma - Can be made to handle reasonably well but
lacks
   power. Fairly good looks except for the hideous rear bumper. ZR2 4x4
   option gives a well composed chassis for off-roading.

4. Chevy Silverado/GMC Sierra - same old story redesigned. Newly
engineered
   engine that makes less torque than last years; however gas mileage is
up.

5. Ford F-250/350 - Tough work truck hit with the ugly stick. Tried to
   capture the appeal of the Ram but misses the mark. Powerful diesel.

6. Toyota Tacoma - best of the imports. Reliable companion; stale
styling.
   Favorite 4x4 of the young and immature crowd who want nothing more
   than a 8" lift kit and 36" tires. Looks ridiculous with big tires
   and that pencil sized rear axle.

7. Nissan Frontier - newly redesigned. The engineers are stuck in the
   1980's. Aesthetically challenged; butterfly collar, angel flights'
   disco style.

8. Toyota Tundra - Dodge/Ford/Chevy full-size wannabe. Promising new V8
   but without the load/towing capacities of the domestics. Shallow bed.
   Most likely be a sales failure like the ill-fated T-100. Toyota, or
   any other Japanese manufacturer, will never be competitive in the
   full size market.

9. Ford Ranger - It's hard to believe the same company that designed
   the Mustang, T-bird, GT-40 etc. came up with this disastrous
   elephant-man look. Ever since it was introduced, this was simply
   awful to look at. Mechanical nightmare. Ever see one lowered? YUCK!

So there it is: The Ford Ranger gets the Golden Colon award for
aesthetic and mechanical mediocrity.

Say what you must. Flame proof Nomex suit on.

Steve F.



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