I actually have 2 double spank stories, both while helping my friend Tim
move last night. The first was just before getting on the Interstate. 3
lanes at a light, narrows to 2 about 300 ft. afterward. I'm rolling up,
and the light turns green. There's an s10 in the middle lane (I'm in the
right, the lane that merges), who is at about 5mph when I roll past him at
20. I hit second gear and floor it. mr. s10 squeaks his tires and the
race is on. Of course, all the odds are stacked in my favor (primarily
the +15mph starting speed), so by the time I get to the merge, I'm about
12 trucklengths ahead. Award me .5 spank. However, my friend CJ was
following me in his 97 v6 RC 5-speed, loaded with the following: 1 couch,
1 desk, 1 table, 2 chairs, misc. junk. He was about 6 lengths behind me
when the race began, and decided to join in. He held 3rd gear past
redline and defeated the "more powerful" 4.3 vortech. Oh, forgot to
mention, the s10 was empty, so CJ had a severe weight disadvangate
(~6-800 lbs). Give this man 1.5 spanks. When the s10 passed me later on
(I only go about 10 over), he gave me the NASTIEST look, and I laughed
hysterically.
Story 2: Coming up to a tollbooth, CJ goes around me (I'm stuck behind a
camry) to pull into the lane next to a ranger. The ranger got out of the
tollbooth maybe 1 sec before he did, and was promptly SMACKED DOWN. I was
behind CJ in the tollboth (maybe 4-5 sec total penalty), and raced off
after them. If the E-way hadn't been under construction (leaving about
1.3 lanes available instead of 4), I would have smoked him to the merge,
as I had about 25mph on him when I came up, but alas, I had to slam on the
brakes to keep from rear-ending him, and race around when it opened back
up 200 ft. later.
Granted, neither of these are perfect conditions (red light, clean start,
etc...), but I'd still consider them both double spanks. I was especially
impressed to see GM's much-touted 4.3 Vortech get OBLITERATED by a
"measly" 3.9 loaded with furniture. Sorry for the length of this post.
David Gloff
Computer Technician
Valcom Professional Computer Center; Kemper/Scudder/Zurich Funds
aolim: dgloff
Loaded Intense Blue '99 Dakota Sport CC 318 5-speed 3.92SG
"This is a litigation-free zone. Prosecutors will be Violated."
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