Southern Humor (off topic, sorry)

From: Chris Lambert (mopar88@efortress.com)
Date: Fri Oct 06 2000 - 17:06:32 EDT


> > How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky
> > hotel?
> > When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak
> > in my sink"
> > And the person at the front desk says "go ahead."
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
> > There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his
> > pickup truck.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Did you hear that they have raised the minimum
> > drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
> > It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high
> > schools!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
> > A documentary.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?
> > Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Why did God invent armadillos?
> > So that Texas rednecks can have 'possum on the
> > half shell.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Where was the toothbrush invented?
> > Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it
> > would have been called a teethbrush.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on
> > I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
> > The driver says, "Bout what?"
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee
> > State Lottery?
> > The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
> > Everyone has the same DNA.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little
> > Rock, Arkansas burned down?
> > Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > A new law recently passed in North Carolina:
> > When a couple gets divorced, they're still
> > brother and sister.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
> > I-40.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of
> > a street toward each other, and one is carrying a
> > sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray,
> > what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens."
> > "If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
> > "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of
> > them." "OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and
> > a hurricane in Florida have in common?
> > Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire,
> > he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department
> > and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
> > "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
> > "Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in
> > groups of 18 or more?
> > 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same
> > room?
> > A full set of teeth.

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'00 CC, Packin a 287 Magnum, 5-sp, Gibson Duals, Traction Bars, Alarm,
Pioneer Stereo, Bugflector II Bug Guard, Fender Flairs, Tinted Windows,
Spring Clamps, Magnum Front Plate, Quick D Intake, "Smoke Em" Decal
http://www.intense99dak.com/chris.htm
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