MUST BE ON DRUGS!!
----- Original Message -----
From: <John_Neff@Dell.com>
To: <dakota-truck@buffnet.net>
Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2001 2:08 PM
Subject: DML: OT [MadeInEngland] Synthetic oil. the whole story?
> SYNTHETIC OIL...
>
> Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your beloved
> motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can
put
> it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping
> debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part
> of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain
> dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to
> retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not
> all...
>
> Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will
also
> splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of
a
> turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats Your sight
> window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive
> that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will
> completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and
> die. Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It
> will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full
leathers
> on and then jam your zippers shut.
>
> It will contaminate your petrol causing your bike to stall on railway
tracks
> and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. It will make it rain
during
> rallies and on weekends. It will lubricate four timing belts causing them
to
> jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens
> desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every six miles.
Then
> it melts the black soles of your riding boots night before you walk across
> your new carpeting.
>
> While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your
> handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen
> with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your
> studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty
by
> changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wet
clutch
> and wets your dry clutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in
> the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry
> wasp in your helmet for good measure. Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket
> and puts superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your face
> shield and make your gloves shrink two sizes night before track day.
> Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it to the Chinese for ?1.25.
>
> Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail.
>
> Synthetic oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends and
> then sign your name at the bottom.
>
> The Made In England site is now back up and running. Find it at
> http://amazer.amaze.net.au/~we/mie/index.htm
>
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