Jason Bleazard <jason.dml@bleazard.net> wrote:
: On Fri, 17 Jan 2003 15:08:03 Jon wrote:
:>
:> I have a feeling that some
:> day, in one capacity or another, I am going to be involved in a solid
:> front axle swap
: Uh-oh... what's Jon up to now? Maybe I'd better keep my truck out of his
: garage...
Heh heh heh! I can see it now... Jason comes down for the BBQ, its
a beautiful night with a full moon and everyone is sound asleep. Suddenly,
the crickets stop chirping.
Moments later, the shop's overhead door groans and starts to open. As
it does, a shaft of light stabs through the night, becoming larger and
larger as the opening yawns wider, finally illuminating the entire Dak.
The truck makes a creaking sound, and starts to roll towards the open
doorway. The tires lock up, but still the truck moves. Inch by inch it
slides, being drawn into the shop by some unseen force. All four super
swampers are locked solid, but there is just not enough traction on the
stone drive. How is this even possible?? The truck skids across the
concrete pad now and enters the shop, a streak of rubber and a howl of
protest trailing out behind each tire as the door eases down behind the
Dak, enveloping it completely like some sort of horrific aluminum amoeba.
The sliver of light gets smaller and smaller then finally winks out as
the door seals shut.
The crickets slowly resume chirping and over their song there is
just the slightest hint of muffled banging and clanging coming from inside
the shop. Hard to say what is happening really - those well insulated
walls aren't giving away any secrets. Yikes! What *is* that sound?!??!?
The unholy shriek of some furious otherworldly banshee? Perhaps - but it
sounds - just a little - like an engine! ?? It is terrifying and yet
hauntingly beautiful at the same time - my brain screams "RUN!" but my
feet don't obey. Suddenly, mercifully, it stops. Replaced once again by
an occasional muffled report of steel on steel. How is it possible that
the DMLers inside the shop slumber on? There isn't a dog within 30 miles
which hasn't just put its tail between its legs and wet itself. Time
passes. Hours? Days? Seconds? Who can say for sure? Time has no
meaning when one is in such close proximity to "the pit".
Suddenly, forest creatures flee in abject terror as the door bursts
open and the Dak is unceremoniously spat out onto the gravel drive. It
bounces a couple of times, then shudders to a stop, miraculously remaining
rubber side down. But what has happened?!? What terrors could have
possibly transformed this innocent vehicle into the beast that now towers
over me? Surely this can't be the same truck??? The license plate is
the same but... it must be sitting at least 20 inches higher than before!
56" boggers spinning on 5.38 geared Dana 80s front and rear, dual twin stick
Atlas II transfer cases, mounted in tandem? - You could probably walk
beside this thing at 5,000 rpm in overdrive! And what fate has befallen the
V6 and the AX15? Wires through the center of the valve covers can only
mean... Yes! Its a one-off HEMI with a billet aluminum block stuffed with
forged and billet components - it must displace at least 1000ci! But what
is that smell? A fuel oil leak from the tank in the house? No - its
coming from the truck. Diesel?!?? How can that be?? There is certainly
no overlooking that monstrous roots blower sticking through the hood - it
makes a 14-71 look like a pencil sharpener! This thing must have more
low end torque than the Daytona 500 starting grid! I sure hope Jason
can figure out that cockpit - besides the 4 levers for the transfer cases
and 10 more connected to the dual, tandem Lenco transmissions, there are
switches and indicator lights galore; some must control the front and
rear air lockers, others the rear wheel hydraulic steering, still others
the independent 4 wheel braking system and the hand throttle, but the rest
are anybody's guess!
At any rate, the white and black zebra stripe paint scheme is certainly
a nice touch. Hold on, that can't be paint - too rough. No! Its Line-X; the
entire truck is covered in the stuff! That winch looks like it could draw
and quarter an ocean liner, and there must be at least a few million
candlepower on that roll bar - its difficult to say for sure; I can't
quite make out how many lights it has - its becoming hard to see now; there
is a thick fog rolling in from the north; or is it smoke? Isn't that the
direction of the pit? Hard to tell - this is all very disorienting and
some say it changes location of its own volition. I can barely make out
the outline of the truck now, and the shop door is starting to close; the
light is fading...
Did that really happen?
Was it a dream?
Whoah!! Did Adam's Dak just lurch towards the door of the shop?
Or was it just the wind?
:> Anybody know of anything that might help?
: A mechanical engineering degree?
Got one I could borrow? ;-)
---Jon-
.---- Jon Steiger ------ jon@dakota-truck.net or jon@jonsteiger.com ------. | I'm the: AOPA, DoD, EAA, NMA, NRA, SPA, USUA. Rec & UL Pilot - SEL | | 70 Cuda, 90 Dak 'vert, 92 Ram 4x4, 96 Dak, 96 Intruder 1400, 96 FireFly | `------------------------------------------ http://www.jonsteiger.com ----'
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