Jason Bleazard wrote:
> On Thu, July 21, 2005 3:28 pm, Josh Battles said:
>
>>Fantastic, but please make sure you requisition for a high output Mr.
>>Fusion
>>unit. I've used the standard ones before with less than desirable
>>results.
>
>
> But of course. Recall that I work in the aerospace sector, and we only
> use the ultra output Mr. Fusion. Nothing but the best for our employees!
>
>
>>By using the high output Mr. Fusion unit I suspect we will have enough
>>extra
>>power on hand that we may use it to power a Mr. Wind unit as well to cool
>>the
>>drive. As we all know, the Mr. Wind unit is very robust and should
>>provide more than adequite airflow as well as durability.
>
>
> Yes, it is indeed fortunate that Mr. Wind is so robust, because we
> certainly don't want anyone breaking Mr. Wind. As we all know, the fumes
> released when someone breaks Mr. Wind are extremely hazardous.
>
>
>>Do you really think that 1.21 jiggabytes is enough to back up the whole
>>interwebnet.com?
>
>
> Do you have any idea how big a jiggabyte is? I believe you're thinking of
> the old metric jiggabyte standard. I'm talking about the new Imperial
> jiggabyte. It shall be more storage than you can possibly imagine.
>
> Only one previous attempt has been made to create an entire Imperial
> jiggabyte of storage using an array built from a mind-boggling number of
> standard off-the-shelf hard drives. The ill-fated scientists conducting
> this experiment performed it in Antarctica due to the natural cooling
> properties of the environment. Needless to say, the magnetic and
> gravitational forces of that much spinning mass in such close proximity
> caused the hard drive rack to collapse in on itself. The resulting black
> hole swallowed the entire lab and destroyed all records of the experiment.
> The government has neither confirmed nor denied this report, meaning it
> must be true beyond all doubt. Fortunately for us, this experiment was
> conducted using clearly obsolete technology from way back in February.
> Given the incredible advances in storage technology since then, I am
> confident that we will be able to overcome this technical challenge.
>
>
>>The last time I tried to create a jiggabyte of storage all
>>I was able to store on it were a few miscellaneous Jay-Z songs that
>>somehow
>>corrupted the FAT record for the drive rendering it useless. Have you
>>encountered this before? I have no workaround for this error but suspect
>>it to be a common problem.
>
>
> Why, you addle-brained fool! Your problem is clearly that you were using
> the inferior FAT file system in your misguided attempt to create a
> jiggabyte of storage. This magnitude of storage is far beyond the meager
> capabilities of that technology. We shall be utilizing the new SOUTHBEACH
> storage system, capable of shrinking each file to approximately one-one
> billionth of its original size utilizing optical quantum flux
> interferometry. In order to properly utilize this technology, I hope you
> realize that we are going to be relying on your l337 cleaning and
> polishing skills to remove all sub-atomic imperfections from the surface
> of our hard drive platters. Bring lots of wax.
>
>
>>In addition to the stealth technology to protect me from Commu-terrorists,
>>I
>>suspect a driveline upgrade to be necessary given the added weight of the
>>stealth technology, UNLESS you had planned on using the new "Clearcoat
>>Stealth" that was developed by Knight Industries in the mid 1980's.
>>Reports
>>on the Clearcoat Stealth technology leads me to believe that this is the
>>perfect solution to our dilemma.
>
>
> Fear not, your driveline shall be re-enforced. Even so, I believe the
> Clearcoat Stealth technology bears further research. My understanding is
> that it also relies heavily on the presence of a series of flashing red
> lights on the front of the vehicle, designed to confuse and distract enemy
> scanning systems. Unfortunately, as this system was invented in the mid
> 1980's, it pre-dates modern intarnetweb methods of information
> distribution. The secrets of this technology remain irretrievably locked
> within ancient "book" storage methods which utilize actual paper.
> Difficult to comprehend, but true. Furthermore, these "books" are kept in
> vaults called "libraries" under the jealous guardainship of the most
> advanced and powerful masters of the Dewey Decimal arts. Rather than risk
> angering the Dewey Decimal order, I shall obtain and study the
> unauthorized "Knight Rider" documentary of this technology in an effort to
> duplicate the valiant efforts of Knight Industries.
>
> I gladly undertake this dangerous mission for the greater good. Wish me
> success!
>
.... wow
-- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ****** COUNTDOWN TO 2005 DML BBQ *5* DAYS LEFT! ****** *Caution* Terrible Tom may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. What pond? AIM & Yahoo: SilverEightynine - http://members.aol.com/silvereightynine/
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Mon Aug 01 2005 - 10:56:28 EDT