"Popovich, Greg, BMG-NY1540" wrote:
> ARMAGEDDON - CONDENSED VERSION
>
> 8:00AM - Rapture: Doors of Heaven open; earth's righteous begin to rise to
> paradise. Dan Quayle briefly hovers five inches above the floor, then
> collapses in a heap as a booming, disembodied voice cries, "Ha!"
> 8:02AM - Coffee vanishes worldwide; everyone gets cranky.
> 8:13AM - Taco Bell chihuahua calls a press conference to concede that he is
> the antichrist. Then he does that cute thing with his eyebrows and bulgy
> eyes and people find him irresistible anyway.
> 9:04AM - Global economy collapses-except in case of Dilbert products,which
> continue to sell briskly.
> 9:45AM - All car alarms on earth go off simultaneously.
> 10:40AM - Abyss opens, releasing foreboding cloud of black smoke and plague
> of disgusting flavored sports drinks. Oceans and lakes turn to blood.
> 11:32AM - In emergency arbitration, Miller Lite is declared "less filling".
> 11:47AM - Sun becomes black as "sackcloth of hair", Moon becomes as blood.
> 12 NOON - Booming, disembodied voice says, "Return all seat backs and tray
> tables to their upright and locked positions."
> 12:03PM - Arrival of forces of good is covered live on CNN, tipping evil off
> as to their location and ruining any chance of ambush.
> 1:11PM - Beeping Tamagotchi pets begin demanding human flesh.
> 2:46PM - Rampaging looters are surprised by the softer side of Sears.
> 3:18PM - Saddam Hussein take Kuwait again; U.S. issues a statement formally
> not giving a damn.
> 3:21PM - Holographic doves on Visa cards emerge to peck out eyes of infants
> and elderly.
> 4:56PM - Calls are no longer monitored to assure quality service.
> 5:20PM - Jerry Seinfeld appreciates the odd little things about droughts.
> 6:12PM - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse break up when Pestilence starts
> dating Baby Spice.
> 7:16PM - Jewel dies quietly on the toilet.
> 9:27PM - God takes Pat Robertson out behind woodshed and kicks his ass.
> 10:00PM - Today's winning Lotto numbers are announced. Congrats, you won!!!!
> 10:42PM - Shari Lewis' head suddenly appears in place of left hand of Lamb.
> 11:30PM - God finally answers all the big questions (e.g., is it ever OK to
> break up over the phone?).
> 12 MIDNIGHT - Tied in the World Series, Boston Red Sox and Chicago Cubs meet
> in the seventh game, and - with two out and the score tied in the bottom of
> the ninth - the world blows up.
> 12:03AM - In deepest space, fleshy shreds of The Artist Formerly Known as
> Prince rename themselves "Susan."
>
> Greg Popovich - Service Engineer
> D.I.S. Research Ltd
> (212)930-4202
Greg, Did you find some of my LSD Blotter left over from the early 70's??????
Bob
Lowered 1998 Metalic Red Extended Cab
Western Chassis 2/4" Drop, Gibson Cat Back, Lund Roll Pan, Sport Masters
Burgandy Tonnue, Home Grown K+N, Stillen Bumper Cover, Sony CDX-7850, Infinity
Kappa's, MTX 275x
Visit my Dak at http://www.geocities.com/motorcity/factory/7995
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